Thursday, November 9

It's Official

Now we had officially started our relationship. I sent my friend EG a text some days later. She called me back at once. Screaming her head off. She was so surprised and happy. She was like "Wow!! The guy I introduced you to! How did you start a relationship with him right under my nose and I didn't suspect a thing all along!!" On and on she went, until I told her how it happened. She hung up and called our other friend, who also called me at once. More screams. We were due to resume for our final year at uni in a week, so we agreed that I would spill the beans when we met after resumption.

The next week, we went back to uni and they dragged me out. Over lunch I told them the whole story. Over the summer, "Mr" had graduated from our uni, so we wouldn't be seeing him around campus anymore. But that afternoon, he came to pick me up after lectures. EG was there and she told him, "You have just come to take my friend from me!". The guy just smiled at her and told her that he had his eye on me all along and he only used her connections to get close to me. (But till today she still takes the credit for hooking us up).

From day one, I knew this relationship was different from all my previous ones. So this called for a different approach from what I used to do in the past. For one thing, I had to define the relationship in my mind. Was this a "let's just see how it goes..." relationship or a "this is going to work out" relationship? In the past, I was involved in "let's just see how it goes" relationships.This meant that if it became inconvenient for me, then I would just end the relationship and move on. However, if I wanted this relationship to work out, I must be prepared to stick with it, even when it got inconvenient for me.

Another thing I did was, I stopped taking relationship advice from my girlfriends. Why? Not because they were bad people or I didn't trust them. But because I knew that they had the same level of knowledge and experience as me, so they could not give me better advice than I could give myself. I decided to start taking my relationship advice from people who had gone through this stage of life successfully and were now happily married. At least they could speak from experience, and their experience counts! So I appointed two married couples in my church as my mentors, and my happily married aunty as my relationship adviser. Over the years of our relationship, I gained wisdom from them, until I could learn to spot my past mistakes and avoid them. I remember one instance. At the beginning of our relationship Mr and I had a quarell. I asked my girlfriends for advice. I took their advice and things got worse. Then I asked my aunt, and took her advice. Things got sorted out! Go figure.

12 comments:

TaureanMinx said...

I'm really enjoying reading your journey tp. You are right about the advise part of things, we should look up to those who have been through it. You haven't told us how old Mr is or maybe I missed it?

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Belle said...

i love love love your story.. and especially the fact that you put it all in God's hands..

cant wait for the next installment!

Calabar Gal said...

I agree with you. That was a very wise move. It paid off for you didnt it? he he he.

Dimples said...

Oh my God!!!..i'm surprised I still have a job..it's only 9.43am..so I have been @ work for the last 43mins reading your blog...My sister i'm encouraged o…you have just given me a new and different perspective to dating, friendship, and whatever there is these days to make a relationship work and hopefully therefore end in a fruitful marriage.

Ha God bless you oh TP…exactly what I needed today…thank you Lord for the beginning of a new chapter.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

awwwww... thats just soo cute and a great way to go about relationships... i've even started to realize that its better for me to experience my relationship rather than follow anybody's advice really.. i mean i'll listen but i won't necessarily follow it ... there's actually something i need to write about soon.. about my man and a close friend who doesn't really like him... its important to me to get it out... i'll probably do that in a few days... but i'm really so happy for you and your man cos u deserve the best!

Funmi said...

u r totally correct on getting advice from more experienced people. It always pays off.

TP said...

@Taureanminx: Thanks! I'm enjoying reliving and writing down the journey too. I know it will come in useful one day. Hubby's age will come up soon in future posts ;-)


@Belle: What can I say? I am very grateful to God o! I will continue writing after my exams.


@Calabar gal: LOL. It did pay off! Sometimes our friends don't know what to say, so they just tell us what we want to hear.

@Dimples: I'm so humbled and happy that God is using my experience to bless others. (But please don't get fired from your job o!!)

@Overwhelmed: Thanks luv! Sometimes we need to listen to our inner voice first before taking advice from friends.

@Funmi: It does pay off. I gained so much wisdom from my aunt. And I was able to pass some tips to my friends who are in relationships too.

Jaycee said...

all I can say is thanks for telling us the "who to take advice from" part, because seriously friends can run their mouth for no reason...thats neat!

yankeenaijachick said...

Just read ya blog for the first time. Really interesting. ya rite about taking advice from older folks. Stay loved.

bhookey84 said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwww thats true sha, i dont talk to anyone bout my boyfriend anymore o , we sort it out ourselves or ppl that have been there.....also i feel on the tip about know what u want as, thinking this is not a lets see how it goes, more like this is going to work out, ohhhhh i love ur blog, im a hopeless romantic!

Anonymous said...

I've been slacking at reading blogs recently (my silly computer is partly to blame) so I'm catching up with all of your gist for the first time in a while ... can't wait to read the rest!

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