By this time, most of my family knew I was in a serious relationship. Except my dad. (A little background info: My dad and I have always had a close relationship. He's such a cool guy. Even when my friends meet him, they go "your dad is so cool" and I agree. He has always treated me like an adult and he respects my opinions. We talk and argue about anything. I remember my dad telling me when I was younger not to have a boyfriend until I was 20! LOL, I guess he was just trying to protect his little girl)
I was not in a hurry to introduce any guy to him until I was sure he was the right one. I was a bit nervous. Funny enough, my dad never seemed to mind when he met my guy friends. But I was worried about how he would react to my boyfriend. I knew it was now time though. After Mr proposed and I was now engaged, I asked my mum for advise on how to break the news to dad. She suggested that it was better face-to-face rather than over the phone. So I should wait until he was around, and he could meet the boyfriend. As God would have it, dad was coming for my graduation ceremony in December that year. Since I wanted Mr to be part of the ceremony, he was going to have to meet dad then. The day my parents arrived, I told my dad I wanted him to meet someone. The conversation went like this:
Me: Daddy there's someone I'd like you to meet.
Dad: Who?
Me: My boyfriend
Dad: Your what?
Me: Dad, he's not just any boyfreind
Dad: I see, what kind of boyfriend?
Me: He's my serious boyfriend
Dad: How serious?
Me: Serious enough for me to want to introduce him to you
Dad: How long have you known him?
Me: Almost two years
Dad: Two years!
Me: Well he's been my boyfriend for just over a year now
Dad: But you've only just graduated. Has he been distracting you from your studies?
Me: Not at all Daddy. He's actually been very supportive
Dad: I see
Me: Dad, just meet him first and give him a chance. I'm sure you'll like him
Dad: I'm not sure.
Me: Ok if you don't like him I'll take that on board. But you have to meet him first
Dad: He's trying to take my baby girl from me.
Me: Nooooo he's not! I'll always be your baby girl
Dad: Okay so when am I meeting him?
Me: Well I want him to be at my graduation ceremony so can you meet him before then?
Dad: This is serious. Ok tell him to come on Thursday.
Me: (hugs dad) Thanks dad! I'll tell him right away.
I ran to tell Mr that my dad wanted to meet him. The guy was a bit nervous. Just a bit... lol. I told him to be himself and he'll be fine. Thursday came and Mr came round to meet my parents. I was glad my mum had met him before this, otherwise it would have been even more nerve-wracking for the poor guy. As they settled down to talk, I left the room and left Mr on his own. After a while my dad called me and said I should see him out. On the way back to his car, I asked Mr what he and my dad had talked about. He said it was 'man-talk' so I wasn't meant to hear. I ran back inside to hear the verdict. Mum was smiling ear to ear. Dad looked thoughtful. I asked dad what he thought. He just said "He's a nice, responsible young man". I said "I'll take that to mean you liked him then." And that was it.
Some days later, it was my graduation ceremony. I remember turning round to wave to my parents in the auditorium and seeing Mr sitting beside them talking to my mum. And that was it, just like that he had been accepted as a member of the family. I was sooo pleased. Later on when we were taking photographs, my dad jokingly asked Mr if it was okay for him to hold my hand. My friends could not believe their eyes when they saw Mr sitting confidently with my dad. They came to ask me how I did it. I remember one of them telling me that she was dreading the day she would introduce her boyfriend to her dad too. I told her to get her mum on her side, that seemed to help. I'm just glad that the meeting went well and my dad liked him at once. So that major hurdle was over.
Showing posts with label Meet the parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Meet the parents. Show all posts
Saturday, March 3
Sunday, December 31
Meeting Mums, Brotherly Advice
Before I got too deep with Mr, I called my mum and told her about him. She said she was going to pray about it. Soon she called me back and said she felt at peace, so she was really pleased. She also told me that she would like to meet him as soon as she could. Apparently, Mr had also told his mum about me, and she was quite keen to meet me as well. Three months later, both mums came to England separately. My mum came for a brief holiday, while his parents came to attend his graduation.
Just after mum arrived, I remember telling Mr that my mum was in the country and she would like to meet him. So we arranged a time. After work, he picked me up from uni and we drove home. My mum greeted him like she knew him before. She sat him down and asked him lots of questions with a serious face. She asked him whether he was a christian, about his family, what his intentions were, how long he had been eyeing me on campus.... etc etc until the poor guy was blushing seriously and I was laughing. Eventually she was satisfied with all his answers and she let him go. Later on I asked her what she thought of him and she said he was a nice guy. So that initial meeting went well :-)
A week later, it was my turn to endure the questions. I was to spend a whole day with Mr's family including his mum! That morning I was so nervous. I got to his brother's house and met his mum and she greeted me very warmly. She asked the basic questions, and she seemed satisfied too. We spent the rest of the day together and she was already refering to me as her daughter, which I thought was really cool. So that was the mums' side of the introductions. It wasn't until much later that we got the dads involved. I think mothers carry more weight anyway. They can then do the job of informing the dads. I didn't tell my dad about Mr until a year later.
I have this uncle that takes the well-being of everybody around him so seriously. Whatever myself, my sisters or my cousins get up to, he wants to know and he usually dishes out advice. Whether we want to listen to him is another matter entirely. When he heard that I had a new boyfriend, he called me and grilled me very well about him. The he found out that he knew my boyfriend's older brother! So he must have called him and told him something like this: "I hear your younger brother is seeing my niece o. Make sure he knows what he is doing. I want you to call both of them together and advise them very well. Otherwise....!" LOL. Anyway one day Mr told me that we should visit his brother after church on sunday. I was quite pleased to, as it would give me an opportunity to get to know the family a bit more, and meet their 5-year old daughter again(she was quickly becoming my best friend).
One lovely sunday afternoon, we paid older brother a visit. We had lunch with the family and it was very interesting. Their daughter insisted that she wanted to sit beside me at the table. She ate her veggies because I ate mine and I told her veggies made me grow. Her mum was so pleased, she said I should be visiting every sunday so the girl would be eating her veggies more often! After lunch we played together until the adults called me for a chat. The chat was lovely. They asked us what our relationship plans were. We told them that we had every intention of going to the altar in the future. They asked us when that would be. We said we hadn't decided yet. They asked us if we had told our parents. We said we hadn't told them the full gist yet. They told us that if we had any questions or problems, we were free to come and ask them. They had been married about seven years at the time so that was good. They also gave us some advice. Sound advice that still rings in my head today. Amongst many other things they said: "You both have to put each other first. For you, younger brother, she becomes the most important person to you. As unfair as it may sound, even your parents become less important than your wife when it comes down to it. And to you lady, he becomes the most important person to you. No other human being (even your future kids!) should be more important to you than your husband. And your partner's opinion matters more than anyone else's. If you know that, then you will accord each other with the right amount of love, trust and respect. And no external party can come in-between you". Great stuff. That touched home for me because it was exactly what we needed to hear. It helps to prevent a lot of issues with in-laws and extended family too.
Just after mum arrived, I remember telling Mr that my mum was in the country and she would like to meet him. So we arranged a time. After work, he picked me up from uni and we drove home. My mum greeted him like she knew him before. She sat him down and asked him lots of questions with a serious face. She asked him whether he was a christian, about his family, what his intentions were, how long he had been eyeing me on campus.... etc etc until the poor guy was blushing seriously and I was laughing. Eventually she was satisfied with all his answers and she let him go. Later on I asked her what she thought of him and she said he was a nice guy. So that initial meeting went well :-)
A week later, it was my turn to endure the questions. I was to spend a whole day with Mr's family including his mum! That morning I was so nervous. I got to his brother's house and met his mum and she greeted me very warmly. She asked the basic questions, and she seemed satisfied too. We spent the rest of the day together and she was already refering to me as her daughter, which I thought was really cool. So that was the mums' side of the introductions. It wasn't until much later that we got the dads involved. I think mothers carry more weight anyway. They can then do the job of informing the dads. I didn't tell my dad about Mr until a year later.
I have this uncle that takes the well-being of everybody around him so seriously. Whatever myself, my sisters or my cousins get up to, he wants to know and he usually dishes out advice. Whether we want to listen to him is another matter entirely. When he heard that I had a new boyfriend, he called me and grilled me very well about him. The he found out that he knew my boyfriend's older brother! So he must have called him and told him something like this: "I hear your younger brother is seeing my niece o. Make sure he knows what he is doing. I want you to call both of them together and advise them very well. Otherwise....!" LOL. Anyway one day Mr told me that we should visit his brother after church on sunday. I was quite pleased to, as it would give me an opportunity to get to know the family a bit more, and meet their 5-year old daughter again(she was quickly becoming my best friend).
One lovely sunday afternoon, we paid older brother a visit. We had lunch with the family and it was very interesting. Their daughter insisted that she wanted to sit beside me at the table. She ate her veggies because I ate mine and I told her veggies made me grow. Her mum was so pleased, she said I should be visiting every sunday so the girl would be eating her veggies more often! After lunch we played together until the adults called me for a chat. The chat was lovely. They asked us what our relationship plans were. We told them that we had every intention of going to the altar in the future. They asked us when that would be. We said we hadn't decided yet. They asked us if we had told our parents. We said we hadn't told them the full gist yet. They told us that if we had any questions or problems, we were free to come and ask them. They had been married about seven years at the time so that was good. They also gave us some advice. Sound advice that still rings in my head today. Amongst many other things they said: "You both have to put each other first. For you, younger brother, she becomes the most important person to you. As unfair as it may sound, even your parents become less important than your wife when it comes down to it. And to you lady, he becomes the most important person to you. No other human being (even your future kids!) should be more important to you than your husband. And your partner's opinion matters more than anyone else's. If you know that, then you will accord each other with the right amount of love, trust and respect. And no external party can come in-between you". Great stuff. That touched home for me because it was exactly what we needed to hear. It helps to prevent a lot of issues with in-laws and extended family too.
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