Wednesday, May 9

Separating

After getting the crush out of my system, I was swimming in the land of bliss in my relationship. Everything was fine. Until six weeks later. Mr called me one day to give me some news. The good news was that he had gotten a job. Yay! The bad news? The job was outside London so he would have to move away. What!?
Okay fine, I knew he had been job hunting since he finished his Masters. Okay I admit I knew he had gone for a few interviews outside London. I can also admit that he told me he had been called for a second interview at some town far away from civilisation. But it hadn't really dawned on me that he might actually get the job, accept their offer and pack his belongings out of London. I had never pictured us being in a 'long-distance' relationship. Fair enough we would still be in the same country, but it just wouldn't be the same anymore! We would be in different cities, so we won't be able to just meet up and hang out whenever we felt like it. He won't be able to pick me up from work anymore. I can't visit him knowing that I can easily catch a tube back to my own house. We will have to book trains to see each other.... and for how long will we be in separate cities again??
All these thoughts were running through my head as he started telling me all about the job, why it was a good move for his career, why he has decided to accept the offer, his plans for the future, etc. I listened in silence. One part of me was thinking, "yeah go for it!" and another part of me was thinking "you can't be serious, what about us?". Eventually he stopped talking and asked me what I thought and I almost burst into tears. I said I needed to think about it. He said he didn't have much time, as he had to give the company his response in less than a week. I told him we should sleep on it and discuss it again when we met up at the weekend.
In the meantime, I went to agonize over this latest turn of events. I thought that telling him not to go for the job would be a completely selfish thing to do. So what was my option? Tell him to go for it? So what about us? I was worried about what the future would hold for us. Eventually I prayed about it but I was still very worried.
Some days later I got a letter from a university. I had applied to them the year I graduated to do my Masters, but when I got a job, I deferred my entry for a year. They were now writing to invite me back to the course. Right, so something more for me to decide. That evening I told Mr about the possibility of me going away for a year at university outside London. So both of us had these decisions to make. He was about to go off to the East of England for a job, and I was about to go off to the Midlands to study! How complicated is that?
What to do? More prayers. I prayed for Mr and his job offer, trying not to pray selfish prayers...lol. I also prayed about my offer of admission to the Uni of Nottingham, should I leave my job, leave my family and friends in London and go? I told God about my worries for our relationship and the fact that we would be in two different cities for at least a year.
For some days we discussed it back and forth. Eventually I told Mr that I felt at peace with his plans to go for the job. I also told him that I felt God wanted me to go to Nottingham for my Masters. The timing was convenient as well. I told my parents also that I might be leaving my job in London to go and continue my studies in Nottingham, and they seemed fine with it.
We talked about what the distance would do in our relationship. We would obviously have to rely mostly on phone calls and texts to stay in touch. I was thankful that at least we were both still in the UK and T-mobile gives us free call allowance! We decided that we'll talk about visiting each other once we had settled in to our respective locations.
So in a few weeks, we started making plans. Mr accepted the job and went off to look for accommodation in the town. He set a date for moving out of his place. I emailed the uni and told them that I was accepting the place on the course. I handed in my notice at work and started making plans to move. The uni organised an accomodation event that I went to. There, I met a nice English girl. She was a fellow postgrad student who was also looking for a flat close to campus too. We found a lovely 2-bed flat close to campus and we signed the contract there and then.
Soon everything was arranged. Mr moved out of London first. I remember going to his flat to move his stuff out and thinking of the fun times we had shared in that flat. I was going to miss it. Then a week later, he moved into a flat in the new town. He still had some stuff to do in London for a while so I saw him quite often in that month. In the meantime, I quit my job and my colleagues gave me a lovely send-off! I also told my friends and ushering team in church that I was moving away. They all said they would miss me. Awwwww.... Before we left though, the senior pastor told me he wanted to see Mr and I, so we agreed to meet him at home one Sunday after church.
So here we were, stepping out in faith into unknown pastures...

10 comments:

Lee said...

Aaaww..I guess those were your trying times and Thank God, you both pulled through. I can imagine how you must have felt at that point.
God definitely had his plans for you both and it worked out.
He's GREAT!!!

Dimples said...

I definitely admire your courage..in taking such a decisive step in your life and future.

nene's thots said...

where is the concluding part missy... Not fair

Anonymous said...

you need to conclude asap!

didi said...

I thought u were not visiting him at his flat to prevent intimacy?

Lasting Commitment said...

Hi there, thanx for sharing the stories of your journey with us, they have been quite helpful and worthy - I personally have learnt many lesson, as they seem more personalised and are of a different angle when compared with most Christian relationship books I've read.

I have recomended your spot to friends as I see it as one of the most practical relationship sites ever! I hope you can edit the write-up in future and compile them into book format.

As a guy, I was only wondering if you know of any similar blog written by a "man" just to have a male's perspective to the journey.

God bless you really good.

Snuffleupagus said...

How exciting! I can't wait to hear how it all works out. Love should always come first. Always. Well done.

Favoured Girl said...

@ Lee: It was a confusing time and I was worrying. I just had to trust that God would work things out for the best. And it did work out well in the end!

@ Dimples: I prayed very hard about it cos I wanted to be 100% sure before I took any steps. I agree it was still a bold move though.

@ Nene and Anonymous: I'm coming to the end of the gist soon, not to worry! I'll try to update this week.

@ Didi: I stopped going to his flat for that reason for a while but then we gave up with "rules" and learned that we just had to ask God for His strength to keep us from falling into temptation.

@ Lasting commitment: Awww thanks! I'm glad to help, and I'm gaining too from writing this blog. Here's an idea, I could turn it into a book! Thanks. Sorry I don't know a similar blog written by a guy...

@ Snuffleupagus: Thanks! It sounds exciting, but it was scary at the time! In the end everything worked out well though!

Pink-satin said...

all we are saying update this post

Believer said...

You are indeed a favored girl. I have just spent some time reading the whole blog! I have been challenged, encouraged and discipled. Thanks for doing this, thanks for sharing your story. God bless you.

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