Sunday, January 21

Some Firsts

At the moment, I'm just looking back to a lot of our "firsts". You know, like our first date, our first kiss, the first time I went to his house, the first time we both said "I love you", our first christmas together, the first time I cooked for him, and the first time he cooked for me, etc. I might talk about them in detail later, but for now, two things stick out in my mind. One is the first time we talked about setting a date for our wedding. The whole thing was a bit of a joke. It went something like this:

We had been going out for three months. One evening, I was at home reading a magazine. The TV was on, but I wasn't really paying attention to it. They were interviewing some married couples. I started paying attention when I heard some people talking about their life after marriage. One lady mentioned that she chose to get married on her husband's birthday so that he would always remember their wedding anniversary. I thought that was funny. Mr called me some time later. As we were gisting, I mentioned what I had heard on the programme. He thought it was funny too. Then he asked if it would apply to us. Perhaps we could get married on one of our birthdays? So, for a bit of fun, we checked my birthday to see if it fell on a Saturday in any of the coming years. Nope, it didn't fall on a saturday at a reasonable time. Then we checked his. His 25th birthday fell on a Saturday in 2005, three years time! We jokingly said that would be our wedding day. We prayed about it. And forgot about it for a long time. Did it happen? Time will tell.

The second thing was the first time a pastor in my church asked me about a boyfriend. It was June 2003, and I had just finished my final year exams at uni. Pastor saw me after church and was congratulating me. This time, Mr and I had been going out for nine months. The conversation went something like this:

Pastor: Congrats Favoured Girl*, I heard you've finished your degree at uni
Me: Yes sir, thank you sir
Pastor: So what's next?
Me: I'm job-hunting now sir
Pastor: That's good. How's it going?
Me: Very well sir. I've got some interviews lined up.
Pastor: Don't worry, you'll get a good job soon.
Me: Amen. Thank you sir.
Pastor: (His voice drops to a whisper) Brother nko?
Me: He's fine sir.
Pastor: (excited) Eh!! So there is a brother in the picture! Come and tell me all about him.
Me: Erm...
Pastor: What church does he attend?
Me: He goes to this church, but a different branch.
Pastor: Really? What's his name? I might know him
Me: His name is ........
Pastor: (really excited) So I even know him! His brother is one of the pastors of another branch
Me: Yes I know that sir.
Pastor: How did you meet him?
Me: Through a friend in uni, then in church.... etc
Pastor: How serious is this relationship?
Me: We are quite serious sir.
Pastor: Tell him to call me this evening! I'm going to grill him seriously.
Me: Ah!
Pastor: I have to. He cannot just come and take you away just like that
Me: (laughing) Okay sir. I'll tell him to call you.

That was really funny. I thought it was nice of him to ask though. Later that afternoon, I relayed the conversation to Mr and we pondered on how the older people in our church always wanted to know what was going on in our lives. I guess they just wanted to look after the next generation. A lot of things I know now, I learnt from my older mentors. I'm really grateful for them.


Lee said...

Hehehe.. I know what you mean. Sometimes you just sit down and smile when you remember those things.. Aint they lovely memories?

And regarding the older mentors.. I'm still learning and want to learn more.. One of my married friends just showed me her first everything from the first pregnancy kit test to the first ultrascan, first smile, first hair cut, first dress, first everything of her baby and her baby just turned 1. She said they will keep the journal and give it to her on her 18th birthday.
Now thats something memorable..

Anonymous said...

i come to ur blog like evry day to see if there r updates. i really admire you, pls keep d posts coming! Godbless you!

LondonBuki said...


Dimples said...

Love is sweet o!!!!

DiAmOnD hawk said...

that's boyfriend and I have had that discussion...but I think I'd rather have my wedding date as its own unique date...

somtimes I feel that when the "elders" start asking questions..i feel it's an intrusion...but I guess they really just want the best for you

Anonymous said...

hmmmm.. first everything, its good to have memories.

Ajike said...

mentors are an asset... as for getting married on one of our bday's not too sure about that, i really need to think about it... nice post as always

LM said...

Stumbled onto your blog (I seem to be doing that to others lately!) and your entries made me smile. You were the same age as my cousin who got married almost 5 years ago this year. Mine was a week before hers although I am 2 years older. The choice of a spouse should not be left to emotions and sentiment and I am glad you were wise enough to get a confirmation from God, no matter how old-fashioned that sounds. That is what is lacking in so many choices today. When you get that confirmation, it spurs you on and God's grace keeps your marriage together in trials. I read in one book about marriage that it is a choice. You CHOOSE to stay together and I think that is apt.

I met my spouse just before I turned 18 and we dated for like 8 years (after 2 years of dating left to study in the UK) and a lot of people couldn't believe we lasted that long or that we got married, in spite of the distance (was away for 6 years). I can identify with some of what you wrote, especially the quality of a man who brings out the best in you, encourages you etc. Even though my husband is only 4 years older, he was larger than life :) when I met him and that was one of the traits which attracted me to him....I "grew" up with him and have become a confident, professional woman who's evolving. In the same way, he's changed for the better...

Advice from mature Christian married couples are definitely worth considering in the early stges but I think after that, the couple should learn to sort out stuff on their own, except in the most dire cases. The grace of God in marriage is what prevents divorces from happening (if you received God's confirmation and are 100% before the marriage). Us wives and mothers need to constantly make efforts and "sacrifices" to make our marriages work and ourselves desirable, in every way, to our spouses. Someone also gave me the book when I got married "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartan. It's a good read. I recommend it.

Keep blogging, you are an inspiration to those your age and even older married couples. I pray God continues to bless you with wisdom to understand your husband better.

Jaycee said...

LOLLLLL...I'm really enjoying these stories...

God has a way of orchestrating stuff when u're not even expecting it. Lolll...seriously when people start peeking in ur private business cos it shows on ur face that somn is up...then somn is really up, and a wedding may be on the way....ha ha...funny!

Fabulo-la said...

hmmmm maybe me too I shud start praying....#kanyeshrug

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