Monday, October 16

The Disappearing Boyfriend

Moving on to the next boyfriend, number 4. This is the case of converting your best friend into your boyfriend. Myself and this guy were very close friends for years and years, through secondary school, college and uni - about 5 years. We had such a nice rapport going on. I always felt safe with him. He was the guy I used to confide in. I told him all my secrets, about the guys I had crushes on, money worries, mood swings, everything. He would always listen to me, offer help and advise and I trusted him. He also told me about his own relationships, struggles with his family, etc. All my girl friends knew him and sometimes they wondered about our friendship, but I always insisted that we were just close friends, and anyway I had 'proper' boyfriends, and he was there to help me decode what goes on in guy's minds.
He knew when I broke up with BF2, he knew about my silly escapades with other guys, and finally when there was a gap in my busy love life, he decided to make his move. The morning of Valentine's Day I was at uni when I got a call from him that he wanted us to meet up in Marble Arch for a movie after my lectures. This wasn't unusual cos we had gone to see movies together many times before so I just thought it was his way of consoling me for my lack of a boyfriend to treat me. No worries there, so after lectures, I dashed home, changed my clothes and headed to Central London.
On getting there, we saw the movie and he insisted on seeing me back home, and just as we were walking up my street, he pulled out some things from his backpack and presents them to me. I took them and was about to stuff them away, but he wanted me to open it right away. I opened the package and there was a card which he had written a poem in, a perfume and some other items I've forgotten.. lol. Then he kissed me and declared his love. I was like "What did you do that for? You have just spoilt everything!" and I stormed off into my house. I was trembling with anger, shock and confusion. When did my best friend start falling in love with me? And why? How will this change our friendship? Eventually I calmed down and called him two hours later. He apologised profusely and explained that he had loved me right from the start of our friendship, but he wasn't sure how I felt about him. So he waited and waited for me to realise that we should be together, instead I was busy with other guys. I laughed at this point and thought that maybe he had a point and since we were already good friends, a relationship would be the next logical step. Our first real "date" was a bit funny cos I was thinking, am I supposed to act differently now as a girlfriend?
Anyways after some time we settled down and the relationshp progressed. My friends were all chanting "I knew it!" when they found out he was now my boyfriend, like they had suspected all along. We had a blast, he treated me nicely, he took me shopping and bought me loads of stuff, we had long conversations, saw endless movies and had a good time. I thought we loved each other and everything was good.
Then after the spring/summer term in 2002, I went to Lagos for a four-week holiday. We were cool when I left England. I spoke to him just before my flight took off and he called me a few times from London to ask how my holiday was going. I was looking forward to coming back and seeing him after my holiday was over. But things went funny after that.
I arrived back in England and called him to tell him I was back. He didn't pick up so I left a message and asked him to call me back. Later that day I met up with a friend of mine, and I persuaded her to allow me stop at my boyfriend's place. When we got there, it looked like there was no one living there anymore. I was quite surprised since he hadn't mentioned he was moving. Anyways I kept calling his number but he wasn't picking it up. I sent him text messages and emails, all the while getting worried, then angry. After I had been back for two weeks without hearing from him, I went to a phone booth and called him from there. This time he picked it up (probably because he didn't recognise the number calling). I was so angry. What was he playing at? I asked him if he had seen my missed calls and messages and he said he had. I asked him why he hadn't bothered to respond and all he could tell me was that he was busy. Busy? For two weeks? Now I was really angry. He said we needed to talk and he promised to call me back later that evening to explain. Sure enough he didn't call me back. At this point, my friends were wondering what's up and all sorts of thoughts were running through my mind. What happened while I was in Lagos? Did we have any disagreements I was not aware of? Why would he just disappear like that? Why was he avoiding me? What is wrong?!! After another two weeks, I still hadn't seen him or heard from him, I decided to call him from my work phone so he would pick up. Of course he picked it up again, and I told him that since he had decided to ignore my messages, it was over between us. And that was it really. He didn't argue, and that was the end of everything, the friendship and the relationship.
For a while, I was upset, but mostly disappointed at how somebody could just change completely. But I didn't dwell on him for long, there was no point. Some months later I got an email from him, chatting something about "what could have been". I read it and deleted it. I changed my phone number some months later. I moved on and just took it as one more of life's experiences.

So that's that. Soon I was to make some big changes in my life..... Stay tuned.

22 comments:

LondonBuki said...

Wow... that was very bad of him!!! What did he think he was playing at? How cowardly!!! He moved? He was ignoring your calls?

As you know you're better off without him... you're happily married now :-)

Nyemoni said...

Hmm, curioser and curioser like Alice (in wonderland) would say! I'm looking forward to more...

NaijaBloke said...

Just saw this new blog ..very interesting ...

Will definately stay tune .. hope the break in trasmission wont be long sha ...LOL

Have a nice day

Belle said...

HEY! this is such a great concept!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't get your ex's behaviour. Did you ever find out why he just disappeared?

Calabar Gal said...

What did he go and do that for? After being ur best friend, the least he could have done was give u an explanation which he owed you. He had to go and spoil the friendship. Well, Good Riddance cos if he hadnt stepped, then U wouldnt have met BH.

Waiting for all the juicy details about BH. Thats the main G and the most important person. (smile)

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Whao... that's just weird... i mean a simple explanation... Years of friendship gone just like that? He missed out jare... look @ u now!!!.. lol... cant wait for more episodes oh... this one na really sweet gist and we all know how naija ppl feel about gist!!!.. BRING IT ON!!!

mosaic said...

What!? You're a strong cookie. I'm surprised at how you were able to get over it so easily....

Closure is so important. It's always the worst when things end and you're like "Huh? Was it something I said?" I mean, just no freaking clue of what happened.

It's all good. You're married now!

Anonymous said...

I've heard a story like this before and in this case I happen know the guy in question. He wanted to break up with his girlfriend having been with someone else but couldn't and wouldn't do it. He refused to pick calls, answer messages or reply anything. The girl was heart broken and the only cure was this guy. Its a heartless, cowardly thing to do and I can only imagine how you must have felt. We boys need to step up and act with maturity in relationships whether its the beginning or the end

bhookey84 said...

wow, ah ahn i woulda been hella pissed, till today u dont know why????

Anonymous said...

God has a reason for everything. He left because God wanted him out of your way so you can meet your husband!

Simi said...

Dat's just so cruel, man.

Anonymous said...

you know why you moved on so easily? because you never slept with him. go figure.

aloted said...

Wow...sounds like a similar experience I had (r u sure its not the same guy..lol)...I thank God that what happened to me, happened. Now I hear the guy has two kids from two different girls! Can u beat that!
God orders the steps of the righteous and he will never his children fall into the hands of the evil one.
See, everything eventually worked out for your good. If this guy didnt disappear you prolly wont have met your hubbby. ;)

Pelsss said...

lol!!! awww I never knew the whole story. ANYWAY, y'all weren't meant to be. I'm glad you went out with him for a while sha guess why? (((the lovely faith shoes now hanging in my cupboard))) ((( the miraculous 20 pounds he slipped into my hands when i was asleep and L was green with envy))) mehn, good old days sha...I'm staying tuned. luv ya, big sis!

Favoured Girl said...

@LondonBuki: I don't know what got into him o. I am better off without him!

LOL @ Nyemoni..

@Naijabloke: Welcome, stay tuned. We are installing a new satellite to resume broadcast as soon as possible...LOL

@Belle: Thanks!

@Anon: Nope, I never found out.

@Calabar gal: Good thing he left eh? I met the main G soon afterwards.

@Overwhelmed: He missed out o, it was his loss and his fault too :-)

mäa said...

O.K, I am about 2 years late to comment, but I just discovered this blog, and I intend to read every single post.

What happened with the young man in question is not strange to me, I experienced something close to this with the last boyfriend I had before my husband. VERY BIZZARE, but then again, good riddance...

mädchen said...

O.K, I am about 2 years late to comment, but I just discovered this blog, and I intend to read every single post.

What happened with the young man in question is not strange to me, I experienced something close to this with the last boyfriend I had before my husband. VERY BIZZARE, but then again, good riddance...

Anonymous said...

It's such a cruel method. I am speechless..so muchiw anted to say but i am so tired to be angry again even myself experienced that last year.

Fabulo-la said...

sooo...do u know what happened to him?

Daughter of Her King said...

ohh wow...can u imagine?? i can never understand how pple can flip like that u know.. good thing u quickly sucked it up and move on.. no wasting time jare... Again good head on your shoulders....

Daughter of Her King said...

ohh wow...can u imagine?? i can never understand how pple can flip like that u know.. good thing u quickly sucked it up and move on.. no wasting time jare... Again good head on your shoulders....

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...