Time out... to Think and Grow

After I broke up with "the disappearing guy" I finally had some space to think. I realised that I had been drifting from one relationship to the other and I hadn't defined what I really wanted in a guy before jumping into relationships willy-nilly. Time for a break to discover myself and define what I wanted in a man.

At about the same time too, I knew God was calling on me to take my relationship with Him more seriously. Having been raised as a christian all my life, I had "played by the rules" and didn't indulge in sin (or so I thought), I went to church regularly, I behaved myself and so on. But I knew I had to start taking it seriously because I came to a crossroad: follow God fully or go my own way. So when I became single again, I thought it was the best time for me to get back in touch with God, get serious as a christian, become active in my church and define my relationship goals. Soon I re-dedicated myself to God and joined a ministry. I was happy and at peace with myself.

Later, as I looked back on this period in my life, I think God was actually working on me, making me a better person emotionally and spiritually, because no one who is immature in those areas should go into a marriage relationship. I think God wanted to show me that I was a woman of value to Him, and therefore I should not just give myself to any guy who would not appreciate my value. A person who does not know the value of what he has, would not take good care of it. Same thing with us ladies, the man that does not know your value will treat you like rubbish. God also showed me that I didn't need a boyfriend to validate me or make me whole or complete. My validation and completeness are only in Christ. A man in my life is supposed to complement me, not complete me. And I should trust God completely to guide me in my life, because He knew what was best for me. I learnt most of this stuff from christian books I started to read (The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord by T. D. Jakes, Let Me Be a Woman by E. Elliot, Not Even a Hint by J. Harris, Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships by Chip Ingram and many others) and these books shaped my outlook on healthy relationships. I realised that I had to put the matter in prayer so that God would take care of it.

One day while I was praying, I prayed about my relationships and I told God that I wanted my next relationship to be with the guy I would marry. I didn't want to experience any more break-ups and disappointments. After I finished praying, something told me "Be careful what you wish for, because you will get it". At first I was surprised, but then I thought to myself, yeah why not? I won't mind meeting the right guy for me now, at least that would save me kissing more frogs. I soon forgot about the prayer and went about my normal activities. Little did I know that my prayer was going to answered so soon.